Chemo is officially over for me!    Based on the conversation with Dr. Os, based on predictive tools of recurrence of the disease, plus my allergic reactions to the chemo treatment, continuing chemo is just not worth the risk.   It won’t add any further value.  Apparently I have really good odds of survival based on the predictive tools.   Tools are only as good as the user and the information put in them…  I just have to have faith and I am at peace with the decision.   No sense arguing that more chemo is required because who really wants that?  I don’t.  If you complete your chemo treatments, you usually ring the above bell to celebrate the end of it, I didn’t.   I failed chemo or maybe I should say I was exempted.  So I went home and had 2 glasses of white wine, a delicious Riesling Pinot Grigio that I had on hand to celebrate.  I am somewhat relieved, the wine went down really well!  I mean I am somewhat relieved chemo is over!

My treatment continues!  I start hormone therapy tomorrow which is just a daily regime of pills for the next 5 years possibly 10 years.  There was some discussion of surgery to remove my ovaries which I just ignored.   As we know, plans change and who knows what will happen in 5 years or where I could be?!  They may have other options in a couple of years…so I do have faith!!   I just hope I don’t have some bizarre reaction on these hormone pills.   Poor Mike!  They can cause a number of reactions and possible mood swings…so Mike may be in for a world of hurt.

Back when we were first married, Mike would sometimes refer to me as “Sybil”.  He didn’t say it too often because I would tear his head off!  LOL   For those of you that don’t remember, back in 1976, they made a movie called  Sybil  played by Sally Field.  The movie was loosely based on a true story where a woman had a multiple personality disorder.  She had developed 16 different personalities.   I believe they made a remake of the film in 2007.   Haha, so Mike may experience the Annette remake of Sybil!   So, if I have any reactions or issues I was told to call my oncology team.   Side effects suck!   Worse part,  you are never quite sure if it’s the drug or something else causing the symptoms you experience.  I really hate drugs!

I hope to find out next week about surgery and radiation.   Those specialists need to let me know of revised dates and any actions I need to take.  Also, I am wearing a heart monitor recorder til Sunday then have to see a cardiologist next week after they interpret the results.   I am guessing they will say my heart beats on a rhythm of it’s own.  Arrhythmia or irregular heartbeats are usually harmless and left untreated unless the specialist thinks it is clinically significant.  This only started after my allergic reaction last chemo, so hoping it adjusts itself and hoping no drugs are prescribed.   Who knew that seeing doctors could be a full time job?

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Ever feel you are in a situation or have a problem where it seems impossible to solve and there is no light at the end of the tunnel?  Well I was surfing the internet to find an inspirational story and found one on another bloggers site.   This specific story is called “Just P.U.S.H!”  It demonstrates  the importance of maintaining faith and patience with adversities that come into your life.   So hope it inspires!


A man was sleeping at night in his cabin when suddenly his room filled with light, and God appeared. The Lord told the man he had work for him to do and showed him a large rock in front of his cabin. The Lord explained that the man was to push against the rock with all his might.

So, this the man did, day after day

For many years he toiled from sun up to sun down, his shoulders set squarely against the cold, massive surface of the unmoving rock, pushing with all of his might. Each night the man returned to his cabin sore and worn out, feeling that his whole day had been spent in vain.

Since the man was showing discouragement, the Adversary (Satan) decided to enter the picture by placing thoughts into the weary mind: “You have been pushing against that rock for a long time, and it hasn’t moved.”

Thus, he gave the man the impression that the task was impossible and that he was a failure. These thoughts discouraged and disheartened the man.

Satan said, “Why kill yourself over this? Just put in your time, giving just the minimum effort; and that will be good enough.”

That’s what the weary man planned to do but decided to make it a matter of prayer and to take his troubled thoughts to the Lord. “Lord,” he said, “I have labored long and hard in your service, putting all my strength to do that which you have asked. Yet, after all this time, I have not even budged that rock by half a millimeter. What is wrong? Why am I failing?”

The Lord responded compassionately, “My friend when I asked, you to serve Me and you accepted, I told you that your task was to push against the rock with all of your strength, which you have done. Never once did I mention to you that I expected you to move it. Your task was to push.

And now you come to Me with your strength spent, thinking that you have failed. But, is that really so? Look at yourself. Your arms are strong and muscled, your back sinewy and brown; your hands are callused from constant pressure, your legs have become massive and hard. Through opposition, you have grown much, and your abilities now surpass that which you used to have. True, you haven’t moved the rock. But your calling was to be obedient and to push and to exercise your faith and trust in My wisdom. That you have done. Now I, my friend, will move the rock.”

At times, when we hear a word from God, we tend to use our own intellect to decipher what He wants, when what God wants is just a simple obedience and faith in Him. By all means, exercise the faith that moves mountains, but know that it is still God who moves mountains.

When everything seems to go wrong… just P.U.S.H.!

When the job gets you down … just P.U.S.H.!

When people don’t react the way you think they should … just P.U.S.H!

When your money is “gone” and the bills are due…just P.U.S.H!

When people just don’t understand you, just P.U.S.H.

P= Pray

U= Until

S= Something

H= Happens


Whether your religious or not, you have to have faith in something and I like the double meaning of “push”   It shows you need to persevere!

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