Smiles for the Day

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It is a very muggy day today and overcast…a dreary day so I found a couple of jokes that made me laugh so I thought I would share them.   Smile….it can’t hurt.

A woman awakes in the middle of the night to find her husband not in bed.

A woman wakes up in the middle of the night to find her husband not in bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him.

 She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of hot cocoa in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes away a tear from his eye. “What’s the matter, dear?” she whispers as she steps into the room…. “Why are you down here at this time of night!?” The husband looks up from his drink, “It’s the 20th Anniversary of the day we met.” She can’t believe he has remembered and starts to tear up. The husband continues, “Do you remember 20 years ago when we started dating? I was 18 and you were only 15,” he said solemnly. Once again, the wife is touched to tears thinking that her husband is so caring and sensitive. “Yes, I do” she replies. The husband pauses……. The words were not coming easily. “Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car?” “Yes, I remember” said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him. The husband continued. “Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, Either you marry my daughter or I will make sure you spend the next 20 years in prison?” “I remember that, too” she replied softly… He sighed as he wiped another tear away from his cheek and said, “I would have gotten out today.”

This Rich Woman Thought She Had The Perfect Husband. But Then He Said This.

Several men were in the locker room of the gym when a

cell phone on a bench rang and a man put it on speaker

and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stopped to


MAN: “Hello!”

WOMAN: “Hi Honey, it’s me. Are you at the club?”

MAN:” Yes”

WOMAN: “I’m at the shops now and found this beautiful

leather coat. It’s only $2,000: Is it OK If I buy it?”

MAN: “Sure, go ahead if you like it that much.“

WOMAN: “I also stopped by the Lexus dealership and saw

the new models. I saw one I really liked.”

MAN: “How much?”

WOMAN   $90000

MAN: “OK, but for that price I want it with all the


WOMAN: “Great! Oh, and one more thing. I was just

talking to Janie and found out that the house I wanted

last year is back on the market. They’re asking $930,000

for It.”

MAN: “Well, then go ahead and make an offer of

$900,000. They’ll probably take it. if not, we can go the

extra eighty-thousand if it’s what you really want.”

WOMAN: “OK. I’ll see you later! I love you so much!”

MAN: “Bye! I love you, too.”

The man hung up. The other men in the locker room were

staring at him in astonishment, mouths wide open.

He turned and asked, “Anyone know whose phone this


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